"How To's" On Dating Are a Thing of the Past

This past year has been revolutionary for women. Movements like #metoo and #timesup have brought the conversations of equality, sexual harassment, and the plight of woman worldwide to the forefront. For as long as I can remember these things were known but not spoken of, women were told that any reaction to these abuses were “unlady like” and we actually believed it. As a mother with two daughters, these conversations could not have come at a better time. I see woman taking control of their lives in ways that just three years ago would have been unprecedented.

In brainstorming ideas for this newsletter, I stumbled upon a few articles that detailed “the female body language” or “signals women send with their bodies”, these articles gleaning from a smile or a shoulder shrug whether or not a woman was interested or not. While there is a science behind body language, these articles don’t source any biology textbooks, rather scenes from varying HBO series provide the proof they deemed enough for their readers.

No one can say they understand women, because women are not collectively the same. We don’t all like the same things or think the same way. In the coming weeks I am going to change the narrative behind these articles and offer a different take. These articles did more than give the wrong impression to the men who read them, but they also conditioned women to believe that their sexuality was to be hidden, demur, and a sort of riddle for someone else to solve, and that could not be further from the truth.

Instead of learning how to read her body language (a.k.a mind read), you can learn how to actually approach her (or him or they)! We have all found ourselves googling information on people’s behavior or reading through countless magazine articles to figure out whether or not someone like us—I want to help get rid of some of that mystery.